The Terminal Departure

Inside Toronto Coach Terminal
On the morning of the departure to the west coastline of Canada, more specifically the Pacific Ocean that I intended to seek, I was both petrified and anxious.  Traveling alone was not my concern as I have always been such a brave sort and love challenging my limits… within reason of course! I don’t think a climb to the mountaintops of Vancouver ever entered my mind, not once! So, maybe not so brave, but curious.  Yes, that was it: I have always been a curious sort. 

That morning, my boyfriend had entered 3 famous quotations into my journal about travels.  He had written them in his own handwriting and had asked me to read them before we set out for my departure. 
They read as follows:

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” --Mark Twain

“All that is gold does not glitter; not all those that wander are lost.  The old that is strong does not wither, Deep roots are not reached by the frost.” -- J.R.R. Tolkien

Outside the Coach Terminal
"Traveling is a brutality.  It forces you to trust strangers and to lose sight of all that is familiar comfort of home and friends.  you are continually off balance.  Nothing is yours except the essential things - air, sleep, dreams, the sea, the sky-all things moving towards the eternal, or what we imagine of it"

--Cesare Pavese

Waiting for a bus! Confused.
Nice, but not awe-inspiring enough for me to not reconsider what I was doing.  I swear if I could have gotten a refund on my ticket, I should have right there and then! But pursuing to endeavor I still managed to muster enough courage to check, double-check and triple-check everything I needed for my trip.  Organizing what to leave under the coach in a small suitcase, and keeping what I need to carry on board.   

Pills? I have a thyroid condition so need them every day or I will die sooner than I should expect to. Ready, set, go! Out the door at last.  My computer!! No… cannot check emails, make postings, watch videos. It’s all behind now.  It’s a cold morning and about 9:30 am in Toronto time.  Board the subway, off at Dundas, walk through the tunnel and I am at the Toronto Coach Terminal at Bay and Dundas West.  No! He’s leaving me. He drops off my suitcase by my side.  I have all my printed tickets for every destination I will go to.  I have everything, except my confidence.  I tell him to leave me alone because I need to depend on myself.  I can see his reflection in the window, he hesitantly walks away and turns around a few times expecting me to change my mind.  No! Go! He still comes back 10 minutes later, with an umbrella for me that he bought.  He kisses me again goodbye and says, “You may need this in Vancouver”…and then he’s gone.I stand in line with several others, as alone and as unsure as a kindergarten child on her first day of school.  But I’ve raised my own children and I know how they felt and still I am a child.  I know this all sounds all so melodramatic and I must admit I am being just a tad over the top here, but as I say I want you to experience as much as my trip as I did.  In the end you will understand… I hope.I was to board at 12:15 pm. the first coach to go to Sudbury with several stops in between.  

The lineup of us is confused by 11:15 am.  Some are heading for Ottawa and others are going on my bus.  Although we are all lined up behind GATE 5 buses run in and out of there all day, and they drive within a yard of where you are standing.  Suitcases were not tagged.  Must do that in order for the baggage handlers to properly take your cargo from one bus to another to another to another… if all goes well and these handlers have had enough Christmas turkey and fixings and are alert my luggage will be at the end of the line waiting for me.  Time will tell. Departure of the Toronto Coach Terminal happens at last… at 12:35 pm.